The rise and fall of commureligion

 

What is commureligion?

It’s a dictatorship of a religion, which promises heaven (paradise) for the poor people.

It was created some 2 thousands years ago (there are people who say only 1 thousand years) by a gang of religious revolutionaries, headed by a guy called Zecu.

Zecu was not very happy that the god-rich guys owned all the gods, all the temples, so he decided that him and his “religiously-poor people” should also own a God, so powerful as to defeat the gods of the other guys. So he formed a revolutionary group called commureligion. It was not difficult to find unhappy people to recruit into his group, and soon enough it became a big party, with a politburo of 12 guys + Zecu.

The slogans of Zecu’s parties were:

- Only commureligion can send you to heaven.

- Our Big God is the only true one, all the other gods are false.

- Godless people of the world, unite (under our God) !

To the powers that be, Zecu was a dangerous criminal, so they decided to arrest him. As was often the case, in Zecu’s politburo there was a traitor, who turned him in. So Zecu was arrested and judged. At that time, most people still were not convinced that it was better to gossip
his God instead of their own, so gave him a death sentence, and hung him on a cross.

Zecu was dead, but his politburo’s guys, considered as lesser fools, were not put to death together with him, so they survived and fought on. They understood that they would need “supernatural” powers in order to win this very difficult religious war. So they decided to turn
Zecu into that supernatural power. Among their many inventions were:

- Zecu was (the only direct) son of God, and had supernatural powers himself. In particular,
he resurrected (just to say “see, they can’t kill me”), before going to heaven in a mysterious way.
- His mother was God’s wife who gave birth to him after a godly insemination. As a corollary, his mother was a virgin who didn’t suffer any “dirty human contact”. There was a small problem: Zecu had a few siblings. So they decided to “completely forget” about those siblings.

The commureligious guys fought very bravely, with iron discipline. Many of them actually believed in the slogans of commureligion and the supernatural powers of its founder.
Eventually, they won the religious war. And that was the beginning of the commureligious dictatorship.

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